The first cut
but not the deepest!
Here in NE Scotland it has been a dreich couple of weeks. Cold, damp and grey. The sun doesn’t set until after 5pm but starts its preparations two hours earlier. During these times, I find it helpful to have plenty to keep me occupied. It’s easy for self-pity and all sorts of negative thoughts to enter my head through the back door. Catching these unwanted intruders quickly becomes the name of the game, “Gotcha!”
When seeking feedback on different poems within the Blood Lines collection I noticed a pattern. Generally, readers preferred more upbeat work. It’s not that morose poems were disliked but uplifting poetry seemed to be better received.
Thus I made a decision that if I dropped a positive poem, then I also needed to ditch a negative one. Below is one such poem. I like it but it just never quite hit the mark and in fact it left a couple of people confused especially as most people regard me as a happy person.
Grey gratitude
smudges of grey
smother my garden
winter
depresses me
I want bright blue sparkle-stars
guarantees of a better time
a season of wonder
Yet I’m immersed in decay
umbels and alliums
sodden rotten stars on sticks
that may see spring emerge
I search wistfully
for a nasturtium leaf
to set my tongue on fire
robin follows me
sharp eyes noticing
helps himself to exposed
centipedes
slugs
grubs
the dreich day
has been his carpe diem
I wrote this in response to a writing session about gratitude during November 2023. As you can see, I was in a dark mood. I was upset as it was unlikely that I would see spring time and the cheerful arrival of plants and the world begin to thrive rather than survive once more. Sometimes jealousy creeps in.
Luckily, just as the weather changes, I’m fortunate because I am able to lift the grey thought clouds and focus on better things in due course. For that I am very grateful.
Hopefully you are now also beginning to see signs of spring emerge and enjoy the show! There’s so much to look forward to, isn’t there?
I related to the poem. My dark days of which I don’t have that many. Feel like several days of gloomy weather.
I don’t always feel like being positive. If we didn’t have gloomy dull days of weather or feeling, what comparison would we have for the better days ?
It’s dreary here too… but without winter there is no spring, and even in winter there is beautiful find. Editing the collection must be hard indeed, so keep the cut ones coming here!